The Wild Republic Hits the World Wide Web

Quixley, as previously mentioned, was sent here to force the local chapter into the computer age.  He spent the first month or so of his tenure just fixing up the machines themselves, which were old and slow and riddled with spyware.  After he managed to get everything in place, he started giving the others tutorials.  Some of them were a bit hesitant, and Leprosy still grumbles about everything, but his efforts are starting to see results.  Consequently, Quixley's job is much more laid-back these days.  I thought I should share with you a few of these results.

First of all, Parsley has developed a massive crush on Sandra Day Okapi, one of the justices on the Zoo-preme Court.  Parsley caught on to the whole web-browsing concept pretty easily, and it occurred to him to look up how Day Okapi was doing on the court.  He's never met her, but he has a lot of species pride, and she is his people's hero.  She's also apparently pretty hot, if okapis are your type.

He's taken to doing a lot of soulful pining in front of the computer like this, gazing on the image of his goddess.  At least it's not porn?

Gilly, unfortunately but unsurprisingly, has discovered online shopping.  Here he is at his favourite site.

Since we have remained staunch in our refusal to give him a credit card, Gilly can't do more than look, but he looks a lot.  He even has a wishlist.  He also has a really irritating habit of leaving the site up when he's ended his browsing session; we assume this is a new tactic intended to guilt us into giving him what he wants.

The website that has been the biggest hit around here is LiveJournal, despite LJ's recent issues.  Every last member of the local chapter, including all of the foreigners, has opened an LJ account, friending all of the others.  Here, for instance, you can see Omri writing in his journal; the text reads, 'Hey everyone, my next dancing bear show will be on Wednesday night.  I'm playing the dancing bear!'

This is kind of cool, but also logistically problematic, because there's only one computer between them all (except for Murchison and Magick, who have iPhones).  So someone is always on LJ, and there's always a queue of others waiting for their turn at LJ.  Here is the queue behind Omri while he was taking his turn:

You see the problem, right?  Someone posts something, and then everyone else wants to check their friends-list so that they can read it and leave comments, not to mention posting something of their own; but there's only the one computer, so they're always in the queue, and then sometimes someone spoils the folk still in the queue on what was posted and those who haven't had a chance to read it yet get angry.  It's kind of unfortunate.  Meanwhile, Gilly and Sir Theo are annoyed because they have less time to play Dominion now that everyone else wants computer time.

The juveniles have things a bit better, because they have periods of time when they can be on the computer while the adults are still working - although they do still have to contend with each other.

But this means that the adults boot them off when they're done working, so their computer time is restricted in other ways.  The kittens have complained to Jasper about this, but he hasn't been very sympathetic.

Facebook has been much less successful around here.  About half of the animals have joined it.  They seem to find it overly complicated or something.  Here's Quixley giving Humphrey and Seleucus a Facebook tutorial; Quixley said afterwards that no matter how many times he went over how to "like" things and Facebook walls, they didn't seem to catch on.

Over all, Quixley's done a good job of introducing computers to the local chapter of the Republic.  He's been less successful lobbying for a bigger budget, even with Alfredo's support.  Quixley thinks they need at least five machines, preferably ten, but the bureaucracy won't give him more money for this unless he can show that the computers are being used primarily for work, which he can't, because with only one computer, no single individual can get significant work done.

A Creative Project

The Mini Republic doesn't get much face time on this blog.  This is because they don't interact in the same way as the Wild Republic; they mostly stay remain in fixed positions on my various bookcases.  They get moved around from time to time, so they're not always in precisely the same place, but you don't find them in interesting configurations the way you do with their larger counterparts.

This doesn't mean that the Mini Republic is boring; they're just interesting in a different way, primarily by way of having amusing conversations.  

Not long ago, Henri and Winslow came up with what they are sure is a creative project that cannot fail.  They want to film a pilot for a television show featuring a pair of best friends who go around the world having wacky adventures and fighting crime.  The friends, naturally, will be played by Henri and Winslow themselves, and the gimmick is that they roam through the world with Henri riding on Winslow's back as Winslow swims through the ocean.

This is incredibly cute.

I'm not as certain as they are that this is a concept that Cannot Fail, but it's cute enough that I want to see them succeed.

Since Henri and Winslow announced their grand plan, various other animals have got interested in similar ideas.  Gilly isn't interested in fame, but thinks swimming through the ocean on the back of an aquatic mammal sounds like a capital plan; sometimes Humphrey indulges him a ride.

You cannot resist requests from someone with Gilly's little face.

Barry, being something of an attention slut, wants to steal the idea, and he keeps trying to talk Humphrey into getting in on this first.  Humphrey is not particularly good-natured about this, so sometimes Barry sort of leaps on his back and starts talking about how famous they'll become, to Humphrey's annoyance.  (It's hard to move when you have an elephant on your back.)  We've taken a few pictures of this, but they tend to look a bit obscene, so for Humphrey's sake I'll only show you the least offensive.

It's lacking a certain something, I don't know.  The formula is the same - large land mammal standing on sea mammal - and yet...

Aye, aye!

When Alfredo was sent here to head the local chapter, he knew it would be a challenge, but he hadn't realised that he would end up host to a sizable international delegation.  He likes challenges, but he doesn't like ulcers, and the combination of prestigious international delegation with a tribe of hyperactive kittens, a deranged moronic penguin, and his own puppy son keeps him up nights worrying.  He's absolutely terrified that somehow his constituency is going to start a war.  Conscientious to the point of neurosis: that's Alfredo.  But one has some sympathy for his position.

So, in addition to a disciplinarian for the kittens, Alfredo has been lobbying with his superiors for some sort of resident legal counsel, just in case.  He'd met with about as much success until the Bubble Gum Tail Incident, and then his superiors promised that they'd send him a good lawyer.

And they did send a good lawyer.  They sent one of the most promising young up-and-coming lawyers they could find, a fellow who breezed through law school, aced the bar exam, and has an excellent track record in court.  This is a lawyer who has won the respect of all his peers for the incisiveness of his mind and his uncanny ability to work the law to his advantage.  Despite his relative youth, several of his arguments have been collected as examples for law students to study, because of their unusual clarity and persuasiveness.

But the lawyer in question was... not quite what Alfredo was expecting.

Poor Alfredo.  He looks so dejected.  You can almost hear his inner monologue: 'Why me?'

Zebulon is an aye-aye, and aye-ayes are primarily famous for three things: they all have an inexplicable fondness for ships, despite lacking all aptitude for sailing them; they are all, without exception, incredibly brilliant; and they are all, without exception, absolutely bat-shit insane.  Zebulon is a very good example of his species.  He's the most promising lawyer of his generation, but he has a few screws loose, and you'd never know it from his behaviour out of court.  Out of court you're lucky if you can get him to say anything other than 'Aye.'

I think Alfredo can be forgiven for not quite trusting that Zebulon will live up to his hype.  We haven't seen him in action yet.

The denizens of the Wild Republic are of two minds about Zebulon.  Some of them try to steer clear of him, because they're not quite sure what to make of him and can't quite believe he's not another Plouie.  (I mean, Plouie gives the impression of having a larger vocabulary.)  The other group finds him kind of fascinating.  Barry, for instance, rather likes Zebulon.  One wonders how much of this is due to the fact that Zebulon's conversational peculiarities make it easier for Barry to talk about himself.

Humphrey is being far more patient with Zebulon than one might have expected, given that he's a retired commodore and aye-ayes are notorious amongst nautical men.  See, they really like climbing around in the rigging and untying knots, and when you are a sailor you have a vested interest in keeping knots tied, so having an aye-aye aboard is a massive inconvenience.  They're sort of like gremlins that way.  But Humphrey is doing a commendable job of keeping his anti-aye-aye biases under control.  He's had a number of conversations with Zebulon that consist of Humphrey talking about his nautical exploits, punctuated by lots of "aye aye" from Zebulon.

Actually, on second thought, Humphrey's tolerance for Zebulon is not really that unlike Barry's.

Hrithik is the only other local who has had previous experience with aye-ayes; this is because Zebulon, like Hrithik, is from Madagascar.  Hrithik is excited enough about having another member of Team Malagasy - and a fellow primate, to boot - to overlook some of Zebulon's peculiarities.  He's also our primary source about aye-ayes in general.  When we first asked him what he thought of Zebulon, he did that "draw a circle near your ear" gesture with his tail, but then he elaborated that they're all like that.

Here's Team Malagasy, perched in a very short tree.

Hrithik spends most of his time on top of one of my bookcases; that's his tree.  Zebulon is less picky about his habitat, but he has a habit of hanging on things, usually upside down.  Sometimes this takes his neighbours by surprise.

Gilly and Nicodemus hadn't even realised he was there until after we took the picture.  They were rather startled.

Zebulon is kind of okay to have around, all told.  He really likes being scratched, and makes the most adorable noises when you indulge him thus, and also the most reproachful noises when you stop.  He seems to like Jeopardy! so far; he started watching mostly out of curiosity, like Hrithik once upon a time, but the game appeals to him.  Also he appears to be something of a hypnotist, which makes me rather nervous.  AJD stopped him in the middle of hypnotising me and we're not really sure what would have transpired if he hadn't.

Poker Part III

When I left off the account of the poker game, Magick had just won big on a bluff, and nearly caused an International Incident in doing so when he refused to show his winning hand.  Rochester and Humphrey were  rather riled up.  Not only were their general appetites for winning whetted, but they now personally wanted to beat Magick.  As news of Magick's enigmatic victory spread around the north room, the audience for the poker match steadily grew.

The new players still had not worked out that victories are worth more if you keep the other players in the game for longer.  A few games after Magick's big victory, Rochester made the same mistake that Reggie had earlier.  He had two kings in his hand, and Reggie dealt another king on the turn.  Rochester prematurely went all in, causing all of the others to fold (except Humphrey, who had already folded).  He felt a bit vindicated, after that loss to Magick.

Remember how I said that the size of the peanut gallery was steadily increasing from the point of Magick's victory onward?  One of the newer arrivals was Gilly.  Gilly wasn't actually all that interested in the cards, but he'd worked out that the poker chips were worth something and decided to claim them all.  He's a rather mercenary little fellow, our Gilly.

It was growing pretty late now, and everyone could tell that the end of the game was drawing nearer.  Magick was dealt the queen and ten of spades, and decided to sit.  Reggie, with a pair of aces, decided to raise.  Humphrey and Rochester called; Humphrey had the ten and king of diamonds and Rochester the six and nine of diamonds.  Magick decided to go ahead and call too.

The turn produced the nine of spades, queen of hearts, and three of clubs.  This produced a holding pattern: Magick and Humphrey were looking at possible straights, but could still turn out to have dross, and Rochester now had a pair, but a low pair; Reggie's hand wasn't improved.  Then the flip yielded the eight of spades, which made things look better for Magick.  He bet six dollars; Reggie raised to ten.  The others stayed in.  Reggie's enthusiasm was significantly greater than his skill, and no one really believed Magick had anything.

Then the river prodcued the jack of spades.  Humphrey now had a straight - and Magick now had a straight flush.  He promptly went all in.

Had any of the others gone all in, everyone else probably would have folded, but no one trusted Magick.  Rochester in particular was grimly determined to stay in and force Magick out of the game. He had an even better hand this time, even though his hand wasn't particularly good.  Humphrey, with his straight, was seeing glory.  Reggie was just having fun.

So everyone went all in.

Here's a shot taken further out, so you can see just how much attention the poker game had attracted by this point in the evening.

Gilly, Barry, Desmond, Parsley, Seleucus... even Leprosy had come over by then, and Murchison was excited enough that he had moved in closer for a better view.

With everyone all in, of course, Magick had to show his hand.  He played it up for all it was worth, of course; he made a great show of trying not to seem reluctant while secretly being reluctant and managed to draw out the suspense for just long enough before revealing his straight flush.  The game was his.

Such excitement!  Rochester and Humphrey stared at each other in profound shock, while everyone else rushed to congratulate Magick, except for Desmond, who stayed to provide moral support to his fellow marine mammal.

It remains to be seen how many of them will ever again agree to play poker with Magick, of course.  Reggie probably would.  Humphrey and Rochester could go either way; they might want revenge, or they might be reluctant to try again.  As for the spectators, they all want to learn poker now, but possibly not against Magick, although they all want to know his secrets.  He, of course, says that these are things one learns for oneself.

I was pretty impressed, too.  There's just something about males who know how to play poker.

Poker Part II

When I left off my account of the poker game, Rochester, who had been on the verge of quitting, had decided that he liked poker after all, thanks to an exciting showdown victory over Sir Tristan.  All of the players were fully committed now: Magick and Sir Tristan are longtime poker aficionados, having played together since their kittenhood; Humphrey had won two early games and was convinced he was a natural; Reggie just likes games; and Rochester, the last holdout, was converted.

After another hour or so, Sir Tristan, who had recovered somewhat from his loss to Rochester, won a hand with a pair of aces over Rochester's nines and Humphrey's jacks.

Sir Tristan had now achieved a tidy profit.  Not a huge profit; he's too conservative a player to win dramatic splashy victories most of the time.  But he was coming out ahead, and that was what he'd been after, so he collected his winnings and politely withdrew from the match.  He doesn't always decide to leave poker games early like this, but he always does when he's playing with Magick.

The new players weren't sure why he'd quit when he had, but they didn't mind too much.  They were starting to get the hang of the game now, but they hadn't picked up on some of the subtleties yet.  So, for instance, two hands after Sir Tristan's departure, Reggie discovered that he had two pairs between his hand and the table: queens and sixes.  Delighted, he promptly went all in, causing everyone else to fold.  Reggie didn't realise that he'd have won more had he kept the others in the game for longer; he was too excited over his victory.  Here he is, showing everyone his cards.

There are different kinds of winners and losers.  There's the quiet and gracious type of winner, like Sir Tristan, for instance.  Other winners get very excited and exuberant.  Some of them make you want to slap them, and some of them don't.  Humphrey is the first kind of excited winner.  When Humphrey wins, he gloats and pats  himself on the back and generally makes a show of himself, so that the losers feel that much more annoyed that he won.  Reggie is an equally exuberant winner, but in a very different way.  He's utterly delighted when he wins, but he doesn't take his victory as a sign of superiority in any way.  There's something almost innocent in his display of enthusiasm, and it makes the other players happy for him.

By this point in the game, Magick had managed a few small victories, enough to keep him playing, but he was still behind the others in terms of chips.  A game or two after Reggie's victory, Magick was dealt a bad hand and decided it was time to have some fun.  Sir Tristan had left the game, after all.  For the sake of friendship, Magick refrains from having too much fun until Sir Tristan has left the table.  Not that he'd gone far.  He'd located Lady Faraday, who had now left the kittens to their fun, and the two of them had come back to watch.  Sir Tristan leaving the poker game is always Lady Faraday's cue to come watch.

Rochester, who had the first bet, had been dealt two queens, so he bet five dollars; everyone else called.  The turn produced the ace of spades, six of hearts, and four of diamonds.  Rochester again bet five dollars.  Magick, playing as though he held an ace, raised two dollars.  Humphrey folded - he only had the ten of hearts and nine of clubs - but the others called.

The flip produced the king of hearts.  Rochester again bet five dollars, with some trepidation.  Magick decided that he also had a king, and raised another five.  Reggie had the king of diamonds and junk; he went ahead and called, but he was rather nervous about it.  Rochester also called.

So it was down to the river, which turned up the nine of hearts.  Rochester prudently checked, upon which Magick went all in.  Reggie and Rochester were sufficiently dismayed by this show of confidence that they didn't want to go all in and folded.  And so Magick won - with the seven of clubs and two of hearts.

The others wanted to see his hand, of course.  Magick refused to tell.

By the point Rochester was getting rather hot under the collar.  He had had a genuinely good hand, and proceeded to show everyone.  But Magick, still keeping mum, quietly and rather enigmatically raked in his winnings.  Magick is very good at enigmatic.  He comes by it naturally, but he's not above making use of it.

Magick explained to Rochester that the rules of poker do not require any player to reveal his hand, even if he wins.  Rochester did not believe him and insisted he show his cards; met with Magick's continued refusal, he demanded to see the rule book.  Lady Faraday, who had been perched on the rule book, promptly opened the book to the correct page - without bothering to look it up - and pointed to the rule in question.  She has watched Magick play poker before.

Confronted with the official rule, Rochester had no choice but to lay off, but he kept grumbling about it under his breath.  Had this happened earlier in the game, when he was still unsure he liked it, he probably would have quit.  Lady Faraday has no patience with this attitude; she believes players should always be gracious.  Here she is regarding Rochester sternly while the others clean up after the last hand.  (Humphrey has the next deal.)  You can see Murchison watching carefully in the distance.  Magick's activities are of general professional interest to him.

I should mention here that Lady Faraday did not decline to join in the game because she doesn't know how to play poker, or even because she is too ladylike to play poker in mixed company.  Actually, she's a very good poker player. She is better than Sir Tristan, in fact, and Sir Tristan is pretty good.  But she refuses, on principle, to play poker with Magick.

The game wasn't over yet, mind.  Now Rochester wanted revenge, so to speak.  And so did Humphrey, because this particular victory of Magick's eclipsed his own so far.

Poker Part I

During the reception held in honour of Sir Angel Joe, Magick discovered that there were some poker chips lying around, and decided to ask whether anyone wanted to play a game of poker.  It turned out that the denizens of the Wild Republic had never actually played poker before, but a few of them were interested in learning how.  Reggie was pretty keen, and Rochester and Humphrey were interested too.  And, of course, Sir Tristan wanted to play.  Magick and Sir Tristan have been playing poker together since they were kittens at boarding school.  A desire to keep the kittens of the local chapter unaware of the game for a bit longer led Lady Faraday to teach them Yahtzee instead.

So here they are, getting ready to play.  They've all anted up.  Reggie really wanted to be the bank, and Sir Tristan volunteered to take charge of the rule book.  He also agreed to be the first dealer.  Laszlo, Mahler, and Desmond aren't playing, but they wanted to watch.

They played for a very long time, so we aren't going to show pictures of the entire game.  That would be excessive and often not interesting.  I'll just show you the highlights, and bits from the first few hands.

Here everyone is after the first deal.  Magick raised, Rochester called, Humphrey raised yet again.  Rochester and Sir Tristan prudently folded, but Magick and Reggie went ahead and called.

After the turn, essentially the same thing happened: Magick raised, Reggie called, Humphrey raised again, and the others called.  After the flip, Magick raised again, but this time Humphrey didn't raise further; he and Reggie just called.  Then came the river, and this time Magick folded.  Reggie raised, but then Humphrey raised again, and Reggie decided to fold.  So Humphrey won, and he was very pleased with himself.  Probably more pleased with himself than he needed to be; but hey, he was new at this.

The next game they played didn't force a showdown either.  This time, Magick raised again; Reggie and Humphrey called; and this time Sir Tristan raised.  Rochester promptly folded.  He was starting to be a bit unhappy; he wasn't really sold on the game.  Folding early isn't really all that exciting, especially when everyone else calls and continues playing.

Here's the state of the game after the turn. The four of diamonds, five of clubs, and ace of spades are all on the table.

Magick raised.  He raised rather a lot, in fact; he depleted his stack of chips at a much faster pace than any of the others.  Reggie folded, but the other two called.  Then the flip turned up the queen of spades.  Sir Tristan was pleased: he now had a pair of queens.

Sir Tristan is a very careful player: very good at assessing the game, but inclined to play conservatively.  Nevertheless, he's pretty good at working out if he has a better hand than his competitors, especially when most of them don't really know what they're doing, and it was very clear to him that no one else had anything nearly as good as a pair of queens.  Magick raised again, and Humphrey called, but Sir Tristan still felt confident enough that he went ahead and raised again, and then Magick folded.  Humphrey folded after the river, when it was clear that Sir Tristan had a good hand. 

The next game they played turned out to be very disappointing for poor Reggie.  After the deal, no one had a particularly good hand; Humphrey raised a bit, but Sir Tristan and Reggie decided to fold, and the others just called.  But then the deal happened, and Reggie suddenly became visibly disappointed.  He's a river otter; they're not really all that good at hiding their feelings.  Reggie was sort of wiggling all over the place with big sad eyes.  He didn't say what the problem was, but the others could guess.

Humphrey, still feeling rather over-confident thanks to his early win, over-raised after the turn.  Rochester decided to call just to keep playing, because he'd folded on every previous game and was becoming impatient.  Magick called as well.  They all bet five dollars on the flip.  No one really had much of anything, though.  Humphrey and Rochester both checked after the river; Magick raised, but only a small amount.  Humphrey then decided to raise by a large amount, which caused the others to fold.  He was pretty pleased with himself.

After Humphrey's win, Reggie revealed that he would have had a straight, had he stayed in the game.  The others were sympathetic.  Well, except for Humphrey.  Here you can see Humphrey gloating over his mound of chips while Reggie regards his would-be straight mournfully.

See the way Magick is positioned, with his cards under his paw?  That's his general gaming pose, apparently.  He's very suave even when he's losing, which he was doing rather markedly at this point.  Compare his piles of chips to Reggie's.

By the next hand, the players had very different attitudes towards the game.  Humphrey was now high on two big victories and was convinced that poker is the best game ever, and that he, Humphrey, was a poker king.  Reggie was feeling a bit down, although Magick and Sir Tristan both assured him that he had been correct to fold given the information he had available at the time; he wanted to keep playing, though, in case he had a good hand.  Magick was losing but seemed unfazed by it; when Humphrey made a cocky remark, Magick said that everyone has off nights.  Sir Tristan was doing moderately well and felt pretty good about it.  But Rochester was really not having a good time.  He didn't feel like he was playing a game at all, and he was ready to stop playing.  The others convinced him to try just one more hand, and he gave in grudgingly.

After the next deal, Humphrey and Magick both folded.  Sir Tristan raised, and the others stayed in the game, Rochester with a sort of grim look of determination: this was going to be his last hand and he was going to play it out, damnit.

The turn produced the queen of spades, the five of clubs, and the queen of diamonds, and this was good for everyone.  Sir Tristan, who was to go first, had a queen in his hand.  Rochester called; he didn't have anything just yet, but he had the beginnings of a possible flush.  And Reggie had two pairs, so he stayed in as well, really wanting to redeem himself.  The flip turned up the six of spades, and Rochester perked up a bit.  He was starting to feel like he was playing after all; he even raised Sir Tristan's bet.  Reggie folded at this point, but Sir Tristan called.  And the river turned up the eight of spades: Rochester had his flush.

This was the game's first showdown, so the new players were particularly thrilled.  After Sir Tristan's bet, Rochester went all in - and won.  He had had the two and king of spades.

Here you can see Mahler, Laszlo, and Magick admiring Rochester's winning hand.

Sir Tristan was gracious in defeat, and Rochester was (mostly) gracious in victory.  He decided that poker was a good game after all, and that was the end to his thoughts of quitting the game.

My Menagerie Gets Media (sort of)

AJD's team has just finished running the 2011 MIT Mystery Hunt (very successfully, from what I hear), which means that I can now reveal that several members of my menagerie were involved as well - in pictures, even.  The others who weren't included (particularly Rusty) are very jealous.

The puzzle featuring my darlings was called Soooo Cute!  If you go to the solution page (by clicking "Call in answer"), you'll see at the top that they're all credited:

featuring Parsley, Seleucus, Desmond, Barry, Vim, Winslow, Khamsin, Humphrey, Henri, and others

The others alluded to are not from my menagerie.  Barry was, initially, one of those others, but DS was looking for homes for them (because it would have been hard to transport them, I think?), so we adopted Barry.

Not only can I now reveal that this has happened, but I can also show their pictures, which I wasn't at liberty to do before.  So, here goes.

Barry:

You'll see that one again shortly, because I ought to do "so I have an elephant named Barry" post.

Humphrey:

Desmond:

We did two shots of each of them.  Desmond blinked the first time.

Henri:

Henri is very shy.  I'm not sure if you can tell.  It's something about being a mini-giraffe; it would probably make me shy too.

Winslow:

It's really hard to get a good picture of a beluga whale on a white background.  Try it yourself and you'll see.  The other one we took was sort of blindingly incandescent; it made Winslow look like a whale god, as far as you could make him out.

Seleucus:

Khamsin:

Parsley:

Vim.

You can't see his earring in this picture very well, but he has one.  If there are prizes for cuteness to be given amongst my animals, Vim is a really strong contender.